And the winner is.....

My return to Shanghai after a lovely month in the UK and France has prompted me to view the city with fresh eyes and I feel moved to announce the first 'Shanghai Absurdity Awards'. The categories and winners are announced below:

Award for the most useless street stall:
Winner: the lady who stands on the corner of Urumuqi Lu selling a single food protector dome net thing to keep the flies off food. She only has the one - there is no stock. It may be that she is content to sell one a day and replace her stock on a daily basis but I suspect she has yet to make her first sale.

Runner up: the lady I spotted at the end of our lane selling 10 inch long sections of white plastic tubing.

Award for the most unfortunate shop name:
Winner: the clothes shop on Julu Lu called 'Embellism by Clara'

Award for the most annoying remark by an expat:
Winner: the 20 something, blonde, very English girl working for a relocation company who told a bunch of expat women: "I don't consider myself to be an expat - I choose to be here". Yes of course, the rest of us have been abducted by our husbands and had their passports confiscated. Sorry love, you're blonde, white, English and most definitely an expat.

Award for the most pointless rip off:
Winner: the hole-in-the-wall hairdresser around the corner which recently stuck on it's front door the 'Toni and Guy' logo. Who are they kidding? They could at least have tried to get the bubbles out from under the plastic.

Award for the most incongruous smell:
Winner: the smell of roasting chestnuts when the temperature is in the 30s. Of course, it's September, it must be winter!